Views on Sex and Books I Enjoy

This is not a discussion of what goes on in the bedroom (or wherever else you decide to do it), but the discussion of sex always raises warning flags so I'm foin to premise this by saying that there is nothing explicit in this post although younger ones(say 13 and under) should probably still steer clear.

I am pretty conservative when it comes to sex. I don't think one-night stands or sex on the first (or even 2-5) date is a good idea. I've thought about this lately, and I believe that my stance on these issues translates to what I enjoy reading.

What this means in terms of books is that I enjoy (by far) books where the main couple take awhile to get to know each other before ending up in bed together. There are of course some caveats to this which allows a pass for sex as a result of rape and/or prostitution.

Granted, having a more slow moving couple doesn't automatically mean I will like a book, but having casual sex seems to make a book an automatic dislike for me. What about you guys?

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I'm with you on that. It's very difficult for me to get into a book where two strangers (or close to it) are having sex. Or where two people who don't seem to like each other very much fall into bed (or wherever).

I like there to be some love behind the lust, and I'm not a big believer of love at first sight, where they know from the moment they lay eyes on each other they were meant to be together forever, and must act on that immediately.


I'm the same way. I'm pretty old-fashioned to be only 22 years old and don't like the whole random sex thing.

Because of this I try to stay away from books that have random sex scenes.

Plus, I'm trying to gear my blog to a family friendly kind of scene, so books with high sex content aren't in my league.

Of course I know that everyone likes different things and that's fine.

However, for me a lot of sex or "just because" sex scenes are a dislike for me.


Hm. Very good topic. To me...without the developed emotional connection, the sexual aspects of a story just aren't as interesting. Length of time is less a factor for me than is a plausible connection between characters; that is to say, there can be a love match made in a short time frame...but it's gotta have some true romance! Something sweet to make the spice nice. ^_^


I'm with you. I don't like casual sex in books. I like to know that the characters actually love each other before they jump in bed together.

I also think that books with casual sex in them usually mean that the sex is more graphic. I don't mind reading a little bit of sensuality, but I don’t need to know everything that’s done during the sex act. And, I especially don't need to know what he did to her or she did to him to make the sex act so enjoyable or the body parts used to perform these actions!


I don't even know why characters would just randomly have sex together. It doesn't make sense, and I agree with you: it doesn't appeal to me much. Even if the characters say they've known each other for a while, we as the readers don't. I want to know bit about the characters and their relationships before they do anything.


Casual sex doesn't bother me in books, but the romance novel habit of characters having this instant, burning lust for each other is irritating. If the characters have just met and they're already contemplating tearing each other's clothes off, then I've got a problem--not with the sex, but with the utter laziness such an attraction means on the part of the author.

Even if they don't have sex right away, that kind of irrational attraction tells me that the author isn't even trying. The main characters are likely to be no more than a name and a hair color, and books like that drive me batty.


Thanks for stopping by my blog on Friday! I have to agree with Dvana. I don't like the burning lust that can overtake a good story. It's just annoying...and a bit unrealistic. I am a bit old fashioned too, and prefer to read the slow-build up of romance. It's way more sexier!


Yeah, I agree that I need the characters to develop a relationship first. I hate it when they see eachother and 'just know' they are meant to be together and it's all just lust.

One thing that really bothers me is the sex in YA. I can handle it happening if it's a context of teaching a lesson (as long as there's no description, of course). But it's when there's random sex between two teens and there's no lesson in it at all I don't like it. Teens are having sex, but really~ do we need to encourage it? Or make it just seem normal to have multiple partners, etc? Yeah, I think I'm about to have a book break up because of this...


I guess I'm going to be the one voice of dissent, and say that I don't really mind sex in books, unless it doesn't fit the character. I even kind of like there to be sex in my YA novels without a lesson - because that's what life is like. As a high school teacher, I know that kids are frustrated when they read books that have sex in there just to prove a moral point - and then they equate that with all books, and start to lose interest in reading (obviously not based solely on the sex thing, but as one factor among many). That's not what life is like, so why should it be what books are like?


I agree. I tend to dislike a character a bit more if they sleep with their love interest right away. Give it a little time, get to know one another. I love the tension and build up.


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