Guest Post: Loving a Child - Krista D. Ball (LRC) ~ Sniffly Kitty's Mostly Books

Welcome to our FIRST post for Loving the Reviews ^.^ Today's guest post comes from Krista D. Ball author of Harvest Moon. You should read my review of Harvest Moon and my interview with Krista! She's going to be talking about loving a child.

~~~Loving a Child~~~
By Krista D. Ball

From Seattle Municipal Archives
I have two step-children, both of whom I've known since they were in diapers. I've been told that I'm lucky because they've always known me. They're probably right. However, one thing that really, really gets under my skin is when people say (with great frequency, I might add), that I would discover that I'd love my own biological children more, if I had any.

Which, frankly, really upsets me. Why? Because I'm adopted.

I've come to see love and family as the people who support you and share memories with you, not the people who give you DNA. Apparently, we adopted kids are supposed to have abandonment issues. I never did. I had two parents. I've met both of my biological parents, all of my half-siblings, and I still see my Mom and Dad as the people who raised me.

Don't get me wrong. Meeting my entire biological sphere was quite interesting and I've added lots of great new relationships to my life. But, they aren't my Mom and Dad.

When people tell me that I would love my non-existent biological children more than my step-kids, what they are really telling me is that Mom and Dad loved their "real" children more than they loved me. And as I look at the boys and how I'd give my own life to protect them, how I would give anything for their safety and happiness...I call bullshit. There was not a caste system of love in my family growing up and there isn't one in my household.

I was loved, completely and without limits. How could I not give that love to another child, after having it so graciously given to me?

~~~~~
Thanks again to Krista for this very thoughtful post! Remember: if you review one of her books, you get 2 extra entries per review ^.^

9 comments: Jump to Comment Form

Jenni Elyse February 2, 2011 at 11:21 AM: Wow! Who says that to someone? I have some friends that I consider more a part of my family than I do some of my own siblings. If someone were to say that to me, I'd get mad too. Love is love. It doesn't matter if the person you love is related to you or not. Thanks for such an insightful post!
brandileigh2003 February 2, 2011 at 12:56 PM: I agree-- its annoying when you say that you cant loved adopted or step kids as much as biological.
Great post!
Anonymous February 2, 2011 at 1:35 PM: Being an adoptee and having my own children, i can honestly say that my parents loved and cherished me as much as I love and cherish my own children. Love comes from the heart not the genes.
Michelle Gregory February 2, 2011 at 2:36 PM: Krista,
great post. we adopted our daughter when she was 8 months old. i can't imagine my life or our family without her. sometimes i can't believe she's already 9.
Krista D. Ball February 2, 2011 at 8:50 PM: Thanks everyone!
Anonymous February 3, 2011 at 2:58 PM: I have 8 children. Three of them are adopted. When people ask which are adopted, I say, "I can't remember." When people ask which children are my REAL children. I said, "They're all REAL, believe me, if they weren't, I'd take their batteries out."
Krista D. Ball February 3, 2011 at 7:22 PM: Yes! I've sometimes said I thought they were aliens, but aliens are real people too ;)
Sniffly Kitty February 3, 2011 at 7:34 PM: @Krista Some aliens are anyway ^.^
Krista D. Ball February 4, 2011 at 1:21 PM: My kids are aliens. I'm sure of it.