By Krista D. Ball
From Seattle Municipal Archives
I have two step-children, both of whom I've known since they were in diapers. I've been told that I'm lucky because they've always known me. They're probably right. However, one thing that really, really gets under my skin is when people say (with great frequency, I might add), that I would discover that I'd love my own biological children more, if I had any.
Which, frankly, really upsets me. Why? Because I'm adopted.
I've come to see love and family as the people who support you and share memories with you, not the people who give you DNA. Apparently, we adopted kids are supposed to have abandonment issues. I never did. I had two parents. I've met both of my biological parents, all of my half-siblings, and I still see my Mom and Dad as the people who raised me.
Don't get me wrong. Meeting my entire biological sphere was quite interesting and I've added lots of great new relationships to my life. But, they aren't my Mom and Dad.
When people tell me that I would love my non-existent biological children more than my step-kids, what they are really telling me is that Mom and Dad loved their "real" children more than they loved me. And as I look at the boys and how I'd give my own life to protect them, how I would give anything for their safety and happiness...I call bullshit. There was not a caste system of love in my family growing up and there isn't one in my household.
I was loved, completely and without limits. How could I not give that love to another child, after having it so graciously given to me?
Thanks again to Krista for this very thoughtful post! Remember: if you review one of her books, you get 2 extra entries per review ^.^